


Lost Possibilities

by imadra_blue



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon - Manga, Drama, Gen, M/M, One Shot, Pre-Slash, Tragedy, canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-23
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-30 07:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1015693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imadra_blue/pseuds/imadra_blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shikamaru and Neji meet in a bookstore.  And then they don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Possibilities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AwayLaughing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwayLaughing/gifts).



> **Request:** aur_in_hue (LJ)/awayandlaughing (Tumblr), "Naruto, Pairing: Neji/Shikamaru, Prompt: Bookstore."  
>  **Notes:** Set before and after the war. Pre-slash, really. I felt like a complete dick writing this story.  >.>

The first time Shikamaru really noticed Neji, it was in Konohagakure's only surviving bookstore. Shikamaru was strolling down the aisles, looking for the adult section, when glossy brown hair and an impossibly rigid stance caught his eye. He paused between the shelves and studied Neji. There was something quite enrapturing about watching Neji standing there, reading a book on shōgi. His clothing hung just right off his frame, obscuring the details, but not the stone-sculpted edges of his muscles.

Suddenly hotly aware that he was checking out another boy, Shikamaru slunk to the next aisle and decided to cool himself off by reading about gardening.

…

The second time Shikamaru admired Neji at the bookstore, he did it from the gardening section, peering between books. Neji stood in the same place, reading the same book on shōgi. He wore a light blue shirt today that clung a little too tightly to his chest. Apparently, becoming jōnin at a young age required muscular definition that Shikamaru had no energy to acquire. Shikamaru was impressed, despite himself. Though he had no desire to look like that, it was certainly pleasing to the eye. He wasn't sure what to make of his sudden attraction to Neji, though he had to admit liking other boys wasn't an entirely new thing. But somehow, the attraction had now coalesced around a boy his own age, only a shuriken's throw away. The problem was, he wasn't entirely sure what to do about it.

He accidentally knocked a book over, causing Neji to turn, but fled the bookstore.

…

The third time Shikamaru admired Neji at the bookstore, he got caught after a few minutes.

"I know you're there," Neji said, reading the same book on shōgi.

Shikamaru knocked a few books off the shelf on accident and hid behind the others. Neji said nothing else, and when he peeked again, Neji still seemed to be reading. Heart racing, Shikamaru considered his best course of action. He hadn't considered that Neji would know he was there, staring, but then, perhaps he should have. Neji was a Hyūga, after all.

Neji sighed and snapped the book shut. "And so you have nothing to say?"

Shikamaru winced. The last thing he wanted to do was admit that he found Neji attractive. It would be humiliating. Especially since Shikamaru was expected to carry on the Nara family line.

"Still the coward, I see." Neji put the book down and walked out.

…

The last time Shikamaru saw Neji at the bookstore, he walked right up to him. Somewhere between battles, he had found more courage to face his own desires, though he had no idea what he might say.

Neji did not look up from his shōgi book. "You're bolder today."

"Nothing gets past you, eh?"

Neji's eyebrow quirked, and he smiled ever so slightly. "You could say I see things from all perspectives."

"Heh." Shikamaru smirked back. He glanced down at the shōgi book. "You like shōgi?"

Neji met his gaze. "I do. I rarely get to play it."

"Oh? I—" Shikamaru cut himself off before he offered to teach Neji. Moving this quickly seemed so forward, even though it was not that forward. But there was too much uncertainty, too many variables in both their futures, and Shikamaru did not like acting upon ignorance. Would Neji take it the wrong way? Would Shikamaru's father? Could he allow himself to give into his desires for his own gender?

After a few moments of silence, Neji spoke. He still had not broken his gaze. "You like to watch me here, did you not?"

Shikamaru had though he might play it cool or somehow explain away his behavior, but Neji's honesty and acceptance caught him off-guard. "I…"

"I understand. It is difficult, being the way we are, in our culture." Neji gently closed the book and set it back on the shelf. "I will give you time to think it over. When you are ready, I will meet you here."

Shikamaru watched Neji walk out again, but this time, instead of ashamed, he felt exhilarated.

…

The last time Shikamaru visited the bookstore he had spoken to Neji in, the shōgi book sat unattended on the shelf, still unsold.

The war had taken its toll on everyone, and shōgi books were the least of anyone's concern. Shikamaru was unsurprised to see it. He still felt weak and worn from all they had lost and suffered. His body had taken so many beatings that he felt as if he had aged twenty years.

So many had died. Shikamaru had lost his father, and Ino hers. They had lost so many shinobi that Shikamaru could not even name them all. But as he took the shōgi book in his hand, he thought of one name, and all the lost possibilities that went with that name. Then he thought of another name belonging to a man whose possibilities had also been lost far too soon. Shikamaru had loved three men who enjoyed shōgi, but he would never play with any of them again.

Shikamaru bought the shōgi book that day, though he had already read it years ago.


End file.
